Photo by Me!, 2011, St. Lawrence Market
Monday, January 31, 2011
time for a little self-exploration.
I am alive. Just drowning.
Seems I’ve needed to occupy my brain with amusements instead of puzzles recently.
I don’t want to say Act Three is overwhelming or scary. It is. That shouldn’t have to be said. They always are, aren’t they? What I do want to say is that my drive is... muddled. As my mind fills up like an unskimmed, neglectfully chlorinated swimming pool, I find the need to resort to the many other things I have seen as not worth my time, namely time-wasting.
As much as I pride myself on using the internet for productive means (watching TED lectures, keeping abreast with the theatrical blog-o-sphere, and the next art and design developments) I can sure as hell use these to no productive end as well as the next man (if not better because “I’m learning”).
And while exploring my own creative imagination requires intense focus, a focus I’ve come to love and welcome with a lover’s embrace, I find myself opting for the less regimented realm of another’s.
After all, how can I become a good writer if I don’t know what else is being written?
So I occupy my time with stories, with books, with images and music. Anything to overcome that bubbling voice drowning in my pool telling me I’m only hurting myself by postponing the inevitable.
And yet I can’t be too harsh on myself because I have been productive. I have seen theatre. I have seen movies. I am reading literature. And most importantly I am unconsciously picking up the parts I enjoy most and storing them in my pool house, in the toolbox right next to the pool skimmer so in a few hours when I skim and chlorinate the rotting thing I can feel confident the next time I want to go for a swim because I have new tools that will help fill up all those cracks in its damn foundations.
Seems I’ve needed to occupy my brain with amusements instead of puzzles recently.
I don’t want to say Act Three is overwhelming or scary. It is. That shouldn’t have to be said. They always are, aren’t they? What I do want to say is that my drive is... muddled. As my mind fills up like an unskimmed, neglectfully chlorinated swimming pool, I find the need to resort to the many other things I have seen as not worth my time, namely time-wasting.
As much as I pride myself on using the internet for productive means (watching TED lectures, keeping abreast with the theatrical blog-o-sphere, and the next art and design developments) I can sure as hell use these to no productive end as well as the next man (if not better because “I’m learning”).
And while exploring my own creative imagination requires intense focus, a focus I’ve come to love and welcome with a lover’s embrace, I find myself opting for the less regimented realm of another’s.
After all, how can I become a good writer if I don’t know what else is being written?
So I occupy my time with stories, with books, with images and music. Anything to overcome that bubbling voice drowning in my pool telling me I’m only hurting myself by postponing the inevitable.
And yet I can’t be too harsh on myself because I have been productive. I have seen theatre. I have seen movies. I am reading literature. And most importantly I am unconsciously picking up the parts I enjoy most and storing them in my pool house, in the toolbox right next to the pool skimmer so in a few hours when I skim and chlorinate the rotting thing I can feel confident the next time I want to go for a swim because I have new tools that will help fill up all those cracks in its damn foundations.
Monday, January 24, 2011
they're on to me.
I had no idea my previous writings were already part of a legitimate field of study. Cyborg Anthropology.
Fascinating idea of the "second self" and the necessary time for reflection. It happens to me all the time. Only when I have time off, when those external factors are at a rest can I upkeep my online persona, can I tailor my second self to the rest of the world.
It's communication at a heightened degree - communication on multiple planes of existence - and the most exciting thing is that we can navigate life between them successfully! (most of us any way... let's not mention that Korean couple who let their baby starve... I mean... shit...)
...you can stand on one side of the world, whisper something, and be heard on the other...
It's odd to think of people interacting with you when you're asleep. Offline. Whatever.
Fascinating idea of the "second self" and the necessary time for reflection. It happens to me all the time. Only when I have time off, when those external factors are at a rest can I upkeep my online persona, can I tailor my second self to the rest of the world.
It's communication at a heightened degree - communication on multiple planes of existence - and the most exciting thing is that we can navigate life between them successfully! (most of us any way... let's not mention that Korean couple who let their baby starve... I mean... shit...)
...you can stand on one side of the world, whisper something, and be heard on the other...
It's odd to think of people interacting with you when you're asleep. Offline. Whatever.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
the clear twilight of mind.
So much time spent organising
With a day off thrown in,
Here and there.
Getting back into the mind of my others
(Sometimes I think of them as personalities,
Or friends even)
Is like I never left.
Like picking up a beautifully written novel,
And knowing exactly what happened
All those weeks ago.
The distance from here is great,
But the clarity is even greater.
I think I know how it all ends.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
musings from another world.
After connecting my living to a series of programs and devices, and while I was watching a particularly technically-troubled production last week (just missed cues which really embarrassed me; and I was only an audience member! The show itself really is something special and I will recommend it to all without mentioning it here) I began thinking about theatre’s place in the entertainment realm. My immediate response to the technical issues in the aforementioned show was: “Really? It’s opening night for God’s sake.” And then I looked around and realised, yes, it is opening night and the audience is full of theatre people (usually the norm, no?). As the play is of such a large scale that more people sitting in the audience probably have a hand in it than are on stage (or maybe about the same number, it does have an impressively large cast) obviously these little issues are more easily overlooked. I mean, it is one of the worst things to experience as an actor: when something completely out of your control goes awry. When we, the audience, see the characters flicker and the actor just standing there, powerless, trying not to let the red rush to their cheeks. After all, “We’ve all been there,” but how does this look to someone in the audience just trying to enjoy a show?
A few days ago while scouring my favourite theatre blogs and I came across this at 2AMt. Near the end of the post Gwydion states: “After all, we’re not making theater for each other… or if we are, we shouldn’t be.” I realise my embarrassment the other night came because I sat in the mostly-theatre-peopled-audience with someone just trying to enjoy a show. I was excited for her to experience the best of what local theatre has to offer. And those little technicalities were, as I said before, embarrassing. I mean, if the editors messed up the final cut of a movie and the credits started rolling over top the climax, or a blooper were accidentally kept in, audience members generally wouldn't be thinking, "Oh, don't you just hate when that happens? Better luck on your next film." In many cases they'd demand their money back and the film would be ridiculed.
So where does this bring me? Well, believe it or not, I'm not actually here to talk about my own standards for theatre (my seat-mate, by-the-way, loved the show and wasn't at all bothered by the technical miscues). This post is actually about something that really excites, and saddens me in theatre: the integration of new technology. If anyone has seen a Robert Lepage or an Electric Company production you'll automatically get my excitement.
My sadness however comes because so many theatre artists are of the mindset that less is more when considering the technical elements of a play. One main reason behind this is that of funding. Technology is expensive and takes time to do right. In such a rushed setting that most small, independent theatre finds itself having a show heavily depend on its technology will only tread rough water. And you're left with a choice: what should we do? Should we push through even if we know we will not have the necessary time to rehearse with it? Or would the show just be better without it?
Another big reason behind the less is more mindset is a lack of general experience with incorporating technology into live performance. And that’s understandable: a director’s main focus, especially of fledgling directors, is to the live, breathing actors in front of them. This is one of the reasons I, and so many others, fall head-over-heels for theatre: because it doesn’t rely on the “wow” factor the latest technology can offer; meaning you don’t need to shell out a couple extra dollars to rent a pair of silly-looking glasses to watch a play in 3D. Thank God (for more on theatre's "wow" factors read Howard Sherman’s article in American Theatre Wing).
Wouldn’t it be less stressing, though, if a director’s, or a theatre’s or an actor’s ability to utilise technology to their advantage came second nature? I have a feeling it would.
The accessibility of current technology (for integration into live performance) is extremely limited.
Now, I don’t mean to undermine the actor’s importance with the introduction of layers of technology; I mean to introduce another playing field, another plane of existence to interact with (and even this I don’t mean on, or with, all theatre. The diversity of performance styles is what makes this medium the most interesting on the planet). As technology evolves and becomes more commonplace in all aspects of existence theatre must grow to mirror it. If it doesn't how can it hope to stay relevant? The internet has created an amazing and inclusive interplay between artists of all walks in all corners of the world possible. This is 2011. This is the technological age. We need to embrace it if we want to expand and reach other audiences. Accessibility is key and the most accessible thing in the world, digitally speaking, is the internet. Let’s use it to our advantage to get new faces in our theatre's seats. Let's use it to create a truly unique performance style you can't experience anywhere else. Let's make this decade exciting.
---
To read more about the possibilities of all this there’s an exciting interview with Siminovitch Prize-Winning Director Kim Collier over at Praxis Theatre. I get weak in the knees just reading it.
---
UPDATE: Just found a symposium happening this Saturday, Jan. 15th @ York University on this very topic. It's an all day event and the best part is that registration is free! Click here for more information. Sadly enough I won't be able to attend but would love to hear about how it goes!
A few days ago while scouring my favourite theatre blogs and I came across this at 2AMt. Near the end of the post Gwydion states: “After all, we’re not making theater for each other… or if we are, we shouldn’t be.” I realise my embarrassment the other night came because I sat in the mostly-theatre-peopled-audience with someone just trying to enjoy a show. I was excited for her to experience the best of what local theatre has to offer. And those little technicalities were, as I said before, embarrassing. I mean, if the editors messed up the final cut of a movie and the credits started rolling over top the climax, or a blooper were accidentally kept in, audience members generally wouldn't be thinking, "Oh, don't you just hate when that happens? Better luck on your next film." In many cases they'd demand their money back and the film would be ridiculed.
So where does this bring me? Well, believe it or not, I'm not actually here to talk about my own standards for theatre (my seat-mate, by-the-way, loved the show and wasn't at all bothered by the technical miscues). This post is actually about something that really excites, and saddens me in theatre: the integration of new technology. If anyone has seen a Robert Lepage or an Electric Company production you'll automatically get my excitement.
My sadness however comes because so many theatre artists are of the mindset that less is more when considering the technical elements of a play. One main reason behind this is that of funding. Technology is expensive and takes time to do right. In such a rushed setting that most small, independent theatre finds itself having a show heavily depend on its technology will only tread rough water. And you're left with a choice: what should we do? Should we push through even if we know we will not have the necessary time to rehearse with it? Or would the show just be better without it?
Another big reason behind the less is more mindset is a lack of general experience with incorporating technology into live performance. And that’s understandable: a director’s main focus, especially of fledgling directors, is to the live, breathing actors in front of them. This is one of the reasons I, and so many others, fall head-over-heels for theatre: because it doesn’t rely on the “wow” factor the latest technology can offer; meaning you don’t need to shell out a couple extra dollars to rent a pair of silly-looking glasses to watch a play in 3D. Thank God (for more on theatre's "wow" factors read Howard Sherman’s article in American Theatre Wing).
Wouldn’t it be less stressing, though, if a director’s, or a theatre’s or an actor’s ability to utilise technology to their advantage came second nature? I have a feeling it would.
The accessibility of current technology (for integration into live performance) is extremely limited.
Now, I don’t mean to undermine the actor’s importance with the introduction of layers of technology; I mean to introduce another playing field, another plane of existence to interact with (and even this I don’t mean on, or with, all theatre. The diversity of performance styles is what makes this medium the most interesting on the planet). As technology evolves and becomes more commonplace in all aspects of existence theatre must grow to mirror it. If it doesn't how can it hope to stay relevant? The internet has created an amazing and inclusive interplay between artists of all walks in all corners of the world possible. This is 2011. This is the technological age. We need to embrace it if we want to expand and reach other audiences. Accessibility is key and the most accessible thing in the world, digitally speaking, is the internet. Let’s use it to our advantage to get new faces in our theatre's seats. Let's use it to create a truly unique performance style you can't experience anywhere else. Let's make this decade exciting.
---
To read more about the possibilities of all this there’s an exciting interview with Siminovitch Prize-Winning Director Kim Collier over at Praxis Theatre. I get weak in the knees just reading it.
---
UPDATE: Just found a symposium happening this Saturday, Jan. 15th @ York University on this very topic. It's an all day event and the best part is that registration is free! Click here for more information. Sadly enough I won't be able to attend but would love to hear about how it goes!
Thursday, January 06, 2011
i no longer live (solely) in this world.
2011 feels odd to write. But exciting to think about. This is the beginning of a decade and even though it’s young ~ 6 days old as I type ~ I’m very ready to start colouring it.
This past week has been hectic. Not in a working sense, or a no-time-to-think sense. In a building sense. For the first time my life has become thoroughly synced with not only this world, but through the various devices I now possess, with the online one. And now I’m speaking as if it were all over with… as if I were satisfied with the state of things… which really is a distortion of the truth: I still have far to go before I’m utterly satisfied with the synchronicity of my thoughts, words, images and, altogether, my persona. These past seven days I’ve been busying myself with new programs, with new devices (a digital camera ~ be prepared for a possibly annoying amount of PHOTOS!) and new outlets (this one, the one you’re reading RIGHT NOW).
And through it all I can’t help but marvel at how easily a new piece of technology, be it a program, device or the promise of such, can utterly consume one’s life.
Yesterday for instance I received said new camera. Then I lost the day. I had plans yesterday (personal plans but plans nonetheless) but instead I spent the time testing out the new device ~ figuring out all its functions, trying to get a feel for which ones I like best and how I can modify its settings to get the most artistic and visually satisfying images (to the best my day-old experience will allow). After, I began toying with imaging software to find which one worked exactly the way I wanted it to ~ which one’s aesthetics were most inline with my own. Miraculously after that I remembered all those other programs I wanted to test out, to upgrade to and to fiddle with. And oh-boy-did-I-ever.
Long after the sun was making its way to Australia, when an exterior force dared communicate with me, did I receive a shock: that shock what only comes when someone else, living a life independent of your own, asks you something. I snapped out of my digital daze, looked at the time and noticed it was nearing 9pm. Good bye Afternoon! (Like I said before: all my self-laid plans just disappeared yesterday!) When “forced” to respond to this external herald-of-the-natural-world I desperately began running to catch the few remaining “productive” hours of night. And the self-inflicted criticism began.
How could I let myself get so completely swept up, selfishly nonetheless, into another world?
An interesting notion itself; that there are other worlds, readily accessible. That we no longer live in just one world. That reality has layers. Very Matrix, I realise.
But tangible.
The acquisition of a new digital device is life-altering. We spend intimate hours exploring it, understanding it and testing its boundaries. I'm amazed to think that a device as simple and lifeless as a digital camera, or an mp3 player, has almost as many unique attributes as the person using it. What’s more, after a time, these objects cease existing as a device at all but become an extension of its owner; just as a pen is an extension of the mind and hand that wields it.
I do not have a camera, I am a camera. I am a blog. I am a netbook. A laptop. An iPod. An external hard-drive. I am a word processor. I exist in all these spaces at once, unconsciously, seamlessly.
I am no longer solely for this world.
p.s. Now I’ve meditated on this I find it amusing that every time I get a new, shiny doohickey I dub it as a king would dub his heirs: Andrew II, IV, VI.
This past week has been hectic. Not in a working sense, or a no-time-to-think sense. In a building sense. For the first time my life has become thoroughly synced with not only this world, but through the various devices I now possess, with the online one. And now I’m speaking as if it were all over with… as if I were satisfied with the state of things… which really is a distortion of the truth: I still have far to go before I’m utterly satisfied with the synchronicity of my thoughts, words, images and, altogether, my persona. These past seven days I’ve been busying myself with new programs, with new devices (a digital camera ~ be prepared for a possibly annoying amount of PHOTOS!) and new outlets (this one, the one you’re reading RIGHT NOW).
And through it all I can’t help but marvel at how easily a new piece of technology, be it a program, device or the promise of such, can utterly consume one’s life.
Yesterday for instance I received said new camera. Then I lost the day. I had plans yesterday (personal plans but plans nonetheless) but instead I spent the time testing out the new device ~ figuring out all its functions, trying to get a feel for which ones I like best and how I can modify its settings to get the most artistic and visually satisfying images (to the best my day-old experience will allow). After, I began toying with imaging software to find which one worked exactly the way I wanted it to ~ which one’s aesthetics were most inline with my own. Miraculously after that I remembered all those other programs I wanted to test out, to upgrade to and to fiddle with. And oh-boy-did-I-ever.
Long after the sun was making its way to Australia, when an exterior force dared communicate with me, did I receive a shock: that shock what only comes when someone else, living a life independent of your own, asks you something. I snapped out of my digital daze, looked at the time and noticed it was nearing 9pm. Good bye Afternoon! (Like I said before: all my self-laid plans just disappeared yesterday!) When “forced” to respond to this external herald-of-the-natural-world I desperately began running to catch the few remaining “productive” hours of night. And the self-inflicted criticism began.
How could I let myself get so completely swept up, selfishly nonetheless, into another world?
An interesting notion itself; that there are other worlds, readily accessible. That we no longer live in just one world. That reality has layers. Very Matrix, I realise.
But tangible.
The acquisition of a new digital device is life-altering. We spend intimate hours exploring it, understanding it and testing its boundaries. I'm amazed to think that a device as simple and lifeless as a digital camera, or an mp3 player, has almost as many unique attributes as the person using it. What’s more, after a time, these objects cease existing as a device at all but become an extension of its owner; just as a pen is an extension of the mind and hand that wields it.
I do not have a camera, I am a camera. I am a blog. I am a netbook. A laptop. An iPod. An external hard-drive. I am a word processor. I exist in all these spaces at once, unconsciously, seamlessly.
I am no longer solely for this world.
p.s. Now I’ve meditated on this I find it amusing that every time I get a new, shiny doohickey I dub it as a king would dub his heirs: Andrew II, IV, VI.
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