Thursday, December 30, 2010

a summation of 2010

It is refreshing to surround oneself with non-theatre folk.

The last five years I've been constantly interacting with people who have had theatrical training, who strive to be actors and who are meticulous in uncovering the mysteries that make up character. This unending poking and prodding at the notion, and mystery, of character has unknowingly made my focus so singular and my faith so poor that I've believed the world to be nothing more than a fiction ~ it's characters all-knowing and conscious of the decisions that make them the personalities they are.

This year, however, I've fallen into a whole new world ~ one removed of the studious tinkering of scholars. I've moved into a world where this fiction I speak of, the world as story, is largely unknown. Yes like in any reality musings and rumours of its existence are to be found but they are rarely thought of. I've found in this new world, this world of reality, that people do and don't know why ~ or, rather, don't care why.


We tell our bodies to act, and when it doesn't perform the way we want we don't explore why: we find another route.

I find this exciting.

It has opened up a whole realm of character possibilities / realities.

As a theatre practitioner training teaches us we can control our -isms, our ticks ~ that nothing is out of our power to transform, to drop, or to write off as an unnecessary / abnormal bodily function. In this new world, however, some of my favourite things to hear are:

"He acts like x if y doesn't happen. It's just the way he is."
"I don't like z. I don't know why, I just hate it."

The reason hearing these rub me the way they do is because the speaker is not questioning what they are saying. The speaker has come to terms with the fact. That is how they are (or the person they talk about is). Simple as that. No ifs, ands or buts. And while I still question, poke and prod the new people I meet I tend to accept their quirks, ticks and -isms more openly than when I was constantly surrounded by people researchers. Sure, I can then move on and examine the causes, the traumatic experiences of their pasts and uncover exactly why they are the way they are but this year I've learnt to just... accept them the way they are.

After all, people are strange. Sometimes inexplicably so.

This is what 2010 taught me. And the best part? It has taught me to forgive the little quirks about myself. Yes. I am like x if y doesn't happen. Deal with it. I am.

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